Well everyone has to have a down day every once in a while huh? Ok, today is mine! NO, I'm not always little Miss Sunshine. hehee
So I'm gonna complain: I'm tired...that fall really kicked my butt! I can't see out of my right eye as well because of the swelling and the black & blue looks terrible! Then there is still a mild headache :( pooo!!
I'm done with 2 a day dressing changes to this old port site on my chest! I was having all my nurse friends do it. Hate the hassle! So, I will change it myself without packing it. Going to the doc tomorrow anyways.
AND...I was poked 5 times yesterday for labs, MRI, and CT. I'm sick of tests!! Ruth and I were at Riverside from 4:30-8:45pm last night. Thanks for taking me honey!
Then everyone is stressed! I'm scared too but we have to just live for today! I will cry with you if you need to but it makes me feel worse sometimes. Cancer sucks!! It's hard to know what to say. Yes, I may be here next year but if not, how do we want to spend our last bit of time together? I like to have fun, rest, take pics, make memories....say what needs to be said before it's too late.
And...I'm worried about next Wed when all my family goes to my doctor appt for the "talk". Topics: How the tumor is doing. What we should do next. Chemo vs surgery. Are there other options? What decisions need made. YES, it's time for THAT! DAMN!!!
Ok, done venting. Glad I don't have days like THIS very often!
Just Keep Swimming....just keep swimming....
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I FEEL SO FRAGILE!!!! uggggggg
Posted by Linda Vaughan at 12:50 PM
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It's 2010! Time to Reflect...
Almost 18 months cancer-free...how long will it last? Such an aggressive cancer, this damn Leiomyosarcoma! Every CT/MRI I have had since my completion of radiation in August 2008 was VERY stressful. Even when I didn't realize it, "SCAN"XIETY loomed in the back of head. Knowing that I had a 50% chance of the cancer returning. Wondering if NOT having chemo back then was the right path. Since my doc's hadn't dealt with many sarcomas, did they really know the BEST treatments?
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The last year and half has brought me so much joy and contentment. To be a GRANDMA! Wow. I love it! To become so much closer to my family. My sis is my best friend now! My husband and I couldn't be any closer. I get to see my daughter and her family every week when I go to babysit my little Maxton. My stepdaughter moved in with our youngest grandson, Marcus, for 6 months. He is a little angel. My Mom has been so much help to me through all my health issues. My stepdad and I have become closer than I ever thought possible. He has been down the cancer road as well. My Mother-in-law has moved closer to us and our relationship has grown. And then I began working at Samaritan and have some wonderful friends! I love that place so much! It's worth the 45 minute drive.
I HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE!
And I know how to live it...by the seat of my pants! :)
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways, chocolate in one hand, a beer (or tequila) in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "woo hoo, what a ride"
**HEY! DON'T FORGET TO GO TO "OLDER POSTS" JUST ABOVE THIS ON THE RIGHT. LOTS OF COOL INFO THERE TOO! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS ME WITH TIM MCGRAW!
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The last year and half has brought me so much joy and contentment. To be a GRANDMA! Wow. I love it! To become so much closer to my family. My sis is my best friend now! My husband and I couldn't be any closer. I get to see my daughter and her family every week when I go to babysit my little Maxton. My stepdaughter moved in with our youngest grandson, Marcus, for 6 months. He is a little angel. My Mom has been so much help to me through all my health issues. My stepdad and I have become closer than I ever thought possible. He has been down the cancer road as well. My Mother-in-law has moved closer to us and our relationship has grown. And then I began working at Samaritan and have some wonderful friends! I love that place so much! It's worth the 45 minute drive.
I HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE!
And I know how to live it...by the seat of my pants! :)
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways, chocolate in one hand, a beer (or tequila) in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "woo hoo, what a ride"
**HEY! DON'T FORGET TO GO TO "OLDER POSTS" JUST ABOVE THIS ON THE RIGHT. LOTS OF COOL INFO THERE TOO! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS ME WITH TIM MCGRAW!
1 comments:
Hugs beautiful Linda!!!!! I can only pray that I will handle adversity as amazingly as you have!!! You are a ray of sunshine in the mist of clouds!!! You have shown us how to laugh, love, dance and live life with dignity and grace! What a beautiful gift from God you are!!!! Thank you!!! Big hugs from me to you!!!! Paula
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