Graphics by Jen Hageman. Photo by Liz Leisure.

Thanks girls!!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Jan 2012

So the new year brought new feelings toward my cancer. I got tired of feeling BAD all the time. The chemo was really getting me down. My mouth sores were so bad they were effecting my eating. I was tired and worn down. I just didn't feel like fighting it any more! So along with my family, I decided to stop all chemo and any further treatment for the cancer. I was to the point that I had feared...I just wanted to give up. It was getting too hard on me! I felt like I was as weak as I could get.

So I called all my Oncologists and told them that I was done. The Cancer Treatment Center of America docs really wanted to see me again but I just didn't feel like I had the energy to make the trip at this time. Maybe later...

While I was in Galion Hospital in December I was seen by kidney doctor, Jody Dome. She, at first, didn't think that she had anything to offer for my kidney failure. But when I seen her in her office she mentioned trying dialysis to help the edema in my legs & hips. And that it might help my nausea & vomiting that I was having intermittantly. So on Feb 4th I started dialysis at the Kidney Center in Bucyrus. They are not affiliated with Bucyrus Hospital. Everyone they is just awesome!! So very nice and knowledgable!! I am doing dialysis just for comfort care and not to treat the cancer in any way. But I feel so much better!! I have lost over 20 lbs in my legs & hips. The swelling has gone way down! Yeah!!! And I'm having less nausea and only occasional vomiting. So overall I feel it's worth the effort!

I had started to see a lymphadermologist at MedCentral in Mans also to treat the swelling in my legs & hips. I had about 8 or 9 visits to them. They were wrapping my legs in ACE bandages to decrease the swelling. Then I was switched to TED hose a few weeks into it. Along with the dialysis and the hose my legs are looking very good! I have been released from the lymph clinic! Yeah!!! So now I just wear the TED hose on days when I am having more swelling. Which is not that often now!

Well, Jan also brought sad news...My Mom passed away on January 23 at Carlilse House. We were all with her. It was so sad to see her go but she is much better off. It was hard to see her suffering. This was not the life Mom would have wanted. So we had a beautiful memorial service for her and so many wonderful friends came! It's been hard. Every day I think I need to call her for something! But then realize I can't! I miss you Mom!!! I love you!

As far as me...I am feeling fantastic! I feel stronger. No shortness of breath! My mobility is awesome now since the swelling is gone! My friend Karen is planning my social calendar and has an event every week it seems. We've had fun! I will try to post pics from our escapades!

Karen & I on our trip to Snowtrails for the day. We just hung out and had lunch. It was a relaxing day! Thanks Karen!

Right now we are trying to plan a family trip to Hocking Hills for a weekend in March I hope! This will be with our family and my sis and brothers family. And also, Gary & I are planning a trip somewhere warm with aqua colored waters!!! Yeah!!


It's 2010! Time to Reflect...

Almost 18 months long will it last? Such an aggressive cancer, this damn Leiomyosarcoma! Every CT/MRI I have had since my completion of radiation in August 2008 was VERY stressful. Even when I didn't realize it, "SCAN"XIETY loomed in the back of head. Knowing that I had a 50% chance of the cancer returning. Wondering if NOT having chemo back then was the right path. Since my doc's hadn't dealt with many sarcomas, did they really know the BEST treatments?
The last year and half has brought me so much joy and contentment. To be a GRANDMA! Wow. I love it! To become so much closer to my family. My sis is my best friend now! My husband and I couldn't be any closer. I get to see my daughter and her family every week when I go to babysit my little Maxton. My stepdaughter moved in with our youngest grandson, Marcus, for 6 months. He is a little angel. My Mom has been so much help to me through all my health issues. My stepdad and I have become closer than I ever thought possible. He has been down the cancer road as well. My Mother-in-law has moved closer to us and our relationship has grown. And then I began working at Samaritan and have some wonderful friends! I love that place so much! It's worth the 45 minute drive.

And I know how to live the seat of my pants! :)

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways, chocolate in one hand, a beer (or tequila) in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "woo hoo, what a ride"